You may have figured out that I don't like confrontation. It could be said that I've been known to do just about anything to avoid contention. Or at least that has been my typical, fall-back position until the past few years, when I woke up and started participating in relationships and conversations and all of that real-life stuff. Man can that be painful. Or joyful. Or anything in between.
I don't remember if I've mentioned that my boss thought it would be a good idea for me to attend classes that would help me gain a better understanding of the contracting world. So far, I've been to a class on basic contracts, government contract law, and now the class I'm attending related to negotiation. In particular, successful negotiation strategies.
Hm.
Are you seeing where this is going?
I did not even see it coming.
The class I'm attending this week is not specifically related to government contracts. It is about determining each participant's personal fall-back position, whether he or she is in a comfortable place or in a confrontational place. We've worked as teams--a buyer and a seller--trying to negotiate the best deals we can, and we've had a lot of lecture time regarding different tactics and styles and steps to successfully close a deal.
Perhaps it won't surprise you to learn that I am a nurturing cautious. But if neither of those work, I just might explode.
Uh. I can already feel my kids nodding their heads in agreement.
The amazing part of this class is that the teacher isn't saying everybody needs to become a power or a nurturer or an analytical or a cautious. The point of the class is to help each participant recognize his or her own strengths and areas of weakness and learn to recognize the same thing in other people with whom we might be negotiating. So we can avoid or resolve conflict.
Is this a great idea or what? I don't care if I ever negotiate a deal at work or not. This stuff has been such an eye opener for me personally that it has been worth the long, extremely bumpy flight, the rough landing, (note: the pilot announced we would be landing in 30 minutes and there was a lot of wind, so tighten up the seat belts and hold on to the kids. this is the first and only time I've thought I might actually barf on a plane. took me two hours on the ground to recover.). It's been worth the time away from Jack and JoJo and the boys and married kids and grandbabies and cats, the cool, rainy, windy Florida weather, the steady diet of junk food and restaurant food, and the additional hours of work that still need to be completed when I'm out of the office.
Once again, I'm astounded that I've lived this long and never knew this stuff. Did you know there is a term for the tactic taken by those people in your life who dismiss what you think or say or feel or perhaps tell you how you are thinking or feeling and are totally off target (bulldozing)? Did you know that salesmen actually expect you to negotiate the price/other stuff when you buy a car or a house or numerous other things? And not just in Tijuanna! (Which is, by the way, possibly the only place that I've ever bartered, and boy did I get a great deal on a leather coat for Jack.) (Unless you count yard sailing, but I don't really count that.)
I can hardly wait to go tell Carolyn about all of this. Since she's the therapist, she probably already knows about it all, but think of the progress I could make now that I have some of the answers that she has been refusing to give me. (She's so about me doing the work.)
This could be the start of something big. You know, in some ways, I am so naive.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
hello? am i still connected to the internet?
Something weird is going on here in Florida. It may have started before I got here...
I have been posting and posting. A blogging fool. And more than that, a commenting fool. I'm commenting here and there and on every blog I read. But I'm starting to think that my posts are not showing up on my own blog. Because I have zero comments. That's a math term for none. Nothing. I'm getting nothing. And yes, I'm in beautiful breezy Florida, but I'm here alone. ALONE. And I'm starting to think I'm talking to myself here. Online. hmmm.
Okay. Got that off my chest. Now to the latest facts/updates. Those Florida lizards do their own sort of hibernation. In the eaves and around air conditioning units and anyplace that is warmer. I think that might creep me out even more than when I see them sunning themselves.
Update two. There are two of those discount touristy stores between my hotel and my class. Who knew? I stopped at one on the way back from class today, thinking I'd find something warm like a hoodie with some green on it to wear tomorrow. You know, two birds, one stone, and all that. (that is really kind of sick, when you think about it.)
Anyway. The store didn't have very many hoodies and only one that had any green on it. There was a bit of green in the outline of the Tinkerbell that was flowing over the left shoulder, but it was a bit difficult to spot, what with the pink Minnie and red Mickey and yellow Goofy and all of the other large, broad brushed outlines. And it cost $25. Seriously. Like I'd pay that much in a discount touristy store. But I did find some adorable princess lunchboxes and notepads and pens and really cute stuffed animals for the girls. And it was all far less costly than at the Disney store in the airport.
Then, as I walked across the big fat highway between my class and my hotel, I spotted another touristy discount store. It was huge. And full of touristy cheap stuff. That is where I found a black hoodie with ORLANDO spelled out in pink block letters that are backed up by green block letters. Possibly not as exciting as the lime green hoodie with the same block letters in pink and black, but I just wasn't feeling quite ready to sport the lime green hoodie to class. Okay, not really. I loved the lime green hoodie, but they only had size S, which does not stand for supersize.
I'm feeling pretty good about getting out of the second store with just the hoodie and three minnie mouse headbands, complete with ears and pink bow. I mean, they had "Real Alligator Heads" and Disney bouncy balls. I almost bought two bouncy balls but then I remembered I'm flying home in a few days, and while I may have packed light, there really isn't room in my suitcase for two 10-inch bouncy balls.
I have been posting and posting. A blogging fool. And more than that, a commenting fool. I'm commenting here and there and on every blog I read. But I'm starting to think that my posts are not showing up on my own blog. Because I have zero comments. That's a math term for none. Nothing. I'm getting nothing. And yes, I'm in beautiful breezy Florida, but I'm here alone. ALONE. And I'm starting to think I'm talking to myself here. Online. hmmm.
Okay. Got that off my chest. Now to the latest facts/updates. Those Florida lizards do their own sort of hibernation. In the eaves and around air conditioning units and anyplace that is warmer. I think that might creep me out even more than when I see them sunning themselves.
Update two. There are two of those discount touristy stores between my hotel and my class. Who knew? I stopped at one on the way back from class today, thinking I'd find something warm like a hoodie with some green on it to wear tomorrow. You know, two birds, one stone, and all that. (that is really kind of sick, when you think about it.)
Anyway. The store didn't have very many hoodies and only one that had any green on it. There was a bit of green in the outline of the Tinkerbell that was flowing over the left shoulder, but it was a bit difficult to spot, what with the pink Minnie and red Mickey and yellow Goofy and all of the other large, broad brushed outlines. And it cost $25. Seriously. Like I'd pay that much in a discount touristy store. But I did find some adorable princess lunchboxes and notepads and pens and really cute stuffed animals for the girls. And it was all far less costly than at the Disney store in the airport.
Then, as I walked across the big fat highway between my class and my hotel, I spotted another touristy discount store. It was huge. And full of touristy cheap stuff. That is where I found a black hoodie with ORLANDO spelled out in pink block letters that are backed up by green block letters. Possibly not as exciting as the lime green hoodie with the same block letters in pink and black, but I just wasn't feeling quite ready to sport the lime green hoodie to class. Okay, not really. I loved the lime green hoodie, but they only had size S, which does not stand for supersize.
I'm feeling pretty good about getting out of the second store with just the hoodie and three minnie mouse headbands, complete with ears and pink bow. I mean, they had "Real Alligator Heads" and Disney bouncy balls. I almost bought two bouncy balls but then I remembered I'm flying home in a few days, and while I may have packed light, there really isn't room in my suitcase for two 10-inch bouncy balls.
Monday, March 15, 2010
lizard update
I haven't seen any lizards. Yet.
Yep, back in Orlando, at the same hotel, walking the same way to class. This time, the temperature is around 70, but it's very windy, and apparently, lizards like to sun themselves when it is warm.
I would be more comfortable if I'd brought a hoodie. But really, I guess I shouldn't be complaining since it didn't snow here all weekend like it did at home.
I am wondering where the lizards go when it isn't warm and sunny enough for them...
Yep, back in Orlando, at the same hotel, walking the same way to class. This time, the temperature is around 70, but it's very windy, and apparently, lizards like to sun themselves when it is warm.
I would be more comfortable if I'd brought a hoodie. But really, I guess I shouldn't be complaining since it didn't snow here all weekend like it did at home.
I am wondering where the lizards go when it isn't warm and sunny enough for them...
Thursday, March 11, 2010
none of these things are like the others
1. Today while driving home from up north, I watched a hawk flying alongside my car with a mouse in its talons, and I thought again about the amazing balance in nature that has created animals like mice and rabbits that breed like, well, like rabbits, because majestic birds like hawks and eagles need large quantities of them to survive.
2. It is calving season. Seeing those wee newborns started my mind wondering about cattle--so I googled a bit and learned that cows are pregnant for the same length of time as humans, a normal calf delivery is two feet and the nose first, and cattle ranchers watch their cattle round the clock during this time of year, checking the cows every three hours to make sure everyone is okay. As I suspected, those cows that were lying down today could have been napping or preparing to deliver a calf, but if problems develop during delivery, the cow might have an easier time delivering if she is standing up, allowing gravity to do its job. The other thing I noticed today about the calves--it is astounding how quickly they grow. It was obvious today that some of the calves were brand new, just born. Others were bigger, more sure on their feet, and clearly older. I look forward to the next few weeks driving up north and remembering again how much the calves remind me of a classroom of third-graders out at recess.
3. Yesterday, JoJo got me to follow her to the basement to free her missing squeaky ball. Last night--okay, this might take a bit of explaining, but--I went to the kitchen to do the dishes and Jack came out to help me. First he got out his bedtime pills and got out mine too. He follows the same routine every night; he places my ambien on the desk while he takes his pills so he doesn't take my pill too. Then he brings me my pill. Very thoughtful of him. Last night, we were both in the kitchen, tidying up, which meant Jack rinsed off the dishes and I loaded them into the dishwasher and then he wiped off the counters and I took some junk mail to the garbage, stopping to move the opened ream of paper from the desk to the open box of paper below the desk. A few minutes later, Jack asked me if I'd taken my pill and I said I hadn't, and then he said he'd left if on the desk, on the--"wait, where's that opened package of paper that I put your pill on?" And then we both searched the desk and the chair and the floor under the desk and under the chair and the box of paper and the opened package of paper on the box of paper. We could not find the little white pill. We did not want to give up until we found it, because, obviously, we can't leave pills lying around on the floor with the girlies coming over to visit and besides, there's JoJo--wait--where was JoJo? That's when she came up to me, as I sat on the floor near the desk and then looked at me while she walked a few feet back across the kitchen floor. Then she looked at me again and waited for me to get up and follow her. To the dining room carpet and the little white pill that was on the carpet where JoJo had been laying. I don't know if she didn't swallow it because it tasted nasty or if she is just so smart that she knew it would not be a good thing for her to eat it, but either way, how clever of her to have led me right back to it, right?
And if you're wondering what I did with the pill, the answer is yes.
2. It is calving season. Seeing those wee newborns started my mind wondering about cattle--so I googled a bit and learned that cows are pregnant for the same length of time as humans, a normal calf delivery is two feet and the nose first, and cattle ranchers watch their cattle round the clock during this time of year, checking the cows every three hours to make sure everyone is okay. As I suspected, those cows that were lying down today could have been napping or preparing to deliver a calf, but if problems develop during delivery, the cow might have an easier time delivering if she is standing up, allowing gravity to do its job. The other thing I noticed today about the calves--it is astounding how quickly they grow. It was obvious today that some of the calves were brand new, just born. Others were bigger, more sure on their feet, and clearly older. I look forward to the next few weeks driving up north and remembering again how much the calves remind me of a classroom of third-graders out at recess.
3. Yesterday, JoJo got me to follow her to the basement to free her missing squeaky ball. Last night--okay, this might take a bit of explaining, but--I went to the kitchen to do the dishes and Jack came out to help me. First he got out his bedtime pills and got out mine too. He follows the same routine every night; he places my ambien on the desk while he takes his pills so he doesn't take my pill too. Then he brings me my pill. Very thoughtful of him. Last night, we were both in the kitchen, tidying up, which meant Jack rinsed off the dishes and I loaded them into the dishwasher and then he wiped off the counters and I took some junk mail to the garbage, stopping to move the opened ream of paper from the desk to the open box of paper below the desk. A few minutes later, Jack asked me if I'd taken my pill and I said I hadn't, and then he said he'd left if on the desk, on the--"wait, where's that opened package of paper that I put your pill on?" And then we both searched the desk and the chair and the floor under the desk and under the chair and the box of paper and the opened package of paper on the box of paper. We could not find the little white pill. We did not want to give up until we found it, because, obviously, we can't leave pills lying around on the floor with the girlies coming over to visit and besides, there's JoJo--wait--where was JoJo? That's when she came up to me, as I sat on the floor near the desk and then looked at me while she walked a few feet back across the kitchen floor. Then she looked at me again and waited for me to get up and follow her. To the dining room carpet and the little white pill that was on the carpet where JoJo had been laying. I don't know if she didn't swallow it because it tasted nasty or if she is just so smart that she knew it would not be a good thing for her to eat it, but either way, how clever of her to have led me right back to it, right?
And if you're wondering what I did with the pill, the answer is yes.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
one amazing dog
You know how you always hear about those really smart dogs that find their owners and then convince them to follow them to the well to rescue the old guy who fell in?
Or that dog who finds her owner, stands up on her back legs and puts her front paws on her owner's lap, and when the owner says, "What do you need?" "Want to go out?" the dog stands there. "Are you hungry?" Still waits. "Okay, I'm coming." And then the owner gets up and the dog keeps turning back to look at the owner every three feet as she follows her down the hallway, through the laundry room and kitchen, down the stairs, into the storage room, past the little black cat hiding on the shelves, and waits for the owner to move the bass drum so that the squeaky ball that is underneath it squeaks and the owner realizes that all along, the dog really wanted to play with the ball, not the cat.
That JoJo is one smart dog. And Weezie is one lucky cat.
Or that dog who finds her owner, stands up on her back legs and puts her front paws on her owner's lap, and when the owner says, "What do you need?" "Want to go out?" the dog stands there. "Are you hungry?" Still waits. "Okay, I'm coming." And then the owner gets up and the dog keeps turning back to look at the owner every three feet as she follows her down the hallway, through the laundry room and kitchen, down the stairs, into the storage room, past the little black cat hiding on the shelves, and waits for the owner to move the bass drum so that the squeaky ball that is underneath it squeaks and the owner realizes that all along, the dog really wanted to play with the ball, not the cat.
That JoJo is one smart dog. And Weezie is one lucky cat.
Monday, March 8, 2010
it's birthday time
We celebrated two birthdays last night here in the gardens. Audrey is now three and Janey is now two. The whole bunch of us were here for cake and ice cream and presents and play.
There were two cakes--a butterfly cake and a heart cake
I did my very best to limit the quantity of gifts because they all have so much stuff--
The baby with bottles was a good choice
Checking out the bag...
Never one to miss out on the chaos, Ms Jo showed up with her ball
some of my girls
Deeper into the bag
And don't miss the newest stander-upper
And a big sister who can still cheese it up even though it wasn't her birthday
Clearly the small pink tote full of princesses was Audrey's favorite
Janey also loved the soft pink blankie that came with her new baby
Cailin and her daddy
Doesn't he look great?
Jr was totally overworked.
What would I do without him?
Doesn't she look like Sweet Pea?
I am in love with these girls
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
bff update
Hiding in the basement, refusing to participate.
Sleeping on the top bunk.
Waiting so patiently...
Wait for it...
So not willing to share JoJo's ball...
Success! No claws or hissing, only minor glaring.
We are so making progress.
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