you tell me

If you had two three-hour classes, with a test in the first class and a test for the second class after the class period was done, so you got up around 6:00 am and didn't get done with school that day until around 3:00, wouldn't you think a pedicure was in order?

Yes, yes, you would.

Unless of course, you got to spend the remaining hours in the afternoon and early evening with these darlings:

This one, who smiles when she hears my voice and reaches up, arching her back, almost falling over backwards while trying to convince me that she needs me--ME--to pick her up.

drumming and a reuben sandwich and mighty fierce love

Tonight, I had a reuben sandwich--something I do approximately every five years, because that sandwich is so full of weird stuff that I can't eat one any more often than that.

Then Jack and I went to watch the drummer perform with one of the performing groups at his school. The drummer was probably the star of the show while playing this:

It's a log drum that Jack built. His next project is a marimba. And actually, the main star of the show may have been a world-renowned Native American flute player. But the drum was still very cool.

I felt a little sad for the percussionist whose dad must not have been capable of building a log drum and instead glued sandpaper on two blocks of wood for him to rub together.

And I was downright bummed out for the kid whose dad gave him just two rocks to hit together.

Okay. Maybe those are instruments the score called for--prayer rocks--but really, isn't that log drum seriously cool?

The drummer also played lots of other percussive items, but it was so clear that his favorite drum is the bass drum. Lots of kids might think hitting a bass drum is boring, but my drummer gets every possible bit of music out of the bass drum.

The kid on prayer rocks did his best too.

~~~~~

I'm just throwing in the next three pictures for free so you can get an idea of the L.O.V.E. that we are swimming in around here:

You thought it would be pictures of the drummer and his girl, didn't you?

In response to recent comments, 1) they will wed sometime around the end of May, 2) Jessie's family is moving to northern California as soon as they find someplace to live, and 3) only one of my friends has all of her grandchildren living nearby, so I too shall figure this out and make the best of it and thank you for your support.
Oh, and it occurred to me today that I'm a bit proud of my gray hairs and my wrinkles. I've earned them.

don't read the next post

I'm okay. Really.

do not want to write this post

these photos are from this site.

My worst nightmare is coming true. Okay, maybe not my worst. Really not even close to my worst.

But one that I always hoped would never happen in real life.

You know how sometimes you have to let go and let the ones you love do the things they need to do? Even if you can hear the sound of breaking heart shattering so loud that you might go deaf?

And even though you are trying your very best to keep it together, sometimes you just plain can't and so you simply have to give up and have a good cry and then blow your nose and wipe your face and try again to keep it together?

There was a time, five years ago, when I didn't want to live. I couldn't see any light or feel any joy and I did a herculean job of keeping it to myself. And when I didn't think I cared to try living anymore, this miraculous thing happened.

I met this girl.

She was much younger than in this picture when I met her. From the moment I first saw her, I was in love. And amazingly, she was just the first of many I would fall head over heels in love with.

And even in my darkest times, after I met her, when I could find nothing to hold on to, no reason to set aside the plans to leave living, if I could just remember her face, think of her smile, hold onto the scent and sound of her, I could decide to stay alive. Often it was like I was looking through a tunnel and her face was the light at the end that I kept going towards.

I am trying so hard to be happy for the family that will begin its new adventure together in a wonderful new place. I know they will be fine. I love them all so very much. These girls will be successful because they have an amazing mom and a kind dad.

But oh, how I will miss them.

two little lovebirds

The drummer and his girl are getting married.

He proposed on Valentine's night and she accepted and soon their life together will begin.

They invited a bunch of their friends over tonight to make pizza. I'm sitting in the office listening to them tell the story of the day of their proposal over and over as new friends arrive. There is talking, first him, then her, then laughter, then exclamations and oohs and aahs from the friends, and already they are finishing each others' sentences.

It is so touching to hear them, obviously in love, together.

It is good when your children meet someone with whom they choose to spend the rest of forever.

And the circle of life continues.

have i mentioned lately

That I have four great kids?

Yeh, I've been spending a lot of time lately posting about relatively unimportant things, like my adorable outfits and jewelry and shoes.

I know, I talk a lot about the granddarlings, because, well, because they are amazing. I love them so very, very much and they seem to love me so very purely. There are no expectations, no demands, just pure, sweet, love.

But I gave birth to these four amazing kids first.

I am so proud of the responsible, delightful, sensitive, loving adults they have each become. Each one is different from his or her siblings, but still bring so much joy into my life. I love all of their differences and I'm so glad for the times we get to spend together.

green and brown

Who knew I have so much of these colors:

And are these shoes adorable or what?

i'm just sayin'

If Craig Bollerjack doesn't start spouting at least twelve more sports cliches per game, I'm totally quitting the Jazz.

valentine's day love

yes, okay, i'm starting to love skype

striking perhaps

Remember this outfit:

Just imagine how great it looked today when accompanied by these darlings:

mark this day

Sometimes, change happens. Wait--always, change happens. Sometimes it's big change, sometimes it's little change, but constant is what change is.

Recently realized changes have left me feeling elated and sad. Can't really elaborate right now, but I did want to remember that today is the first time in a long time (ever?) that I was talking to my mom on the phone about recent changes and instead of telling me not to worry because I couldn't do anything about the changes or telling me how to handle all of the changes my mom listened to me and then said, "Are you sad?" And through my now-falling tears, I said, "Yes, yes, I'm sad."

She recognized my feelings and let me have them.

Sometimes, change happens.

the ferret strikes again

You could probably see how much I adore little Gus in one of my photos yesterday, right?

And then today I come home to find he has pulled out a closed box of boots, my brown boots, opened the box, and has chewed through one of the straps that wraps around the boot.

Cannot glue it back in place because he ate a pea-sized bit of the strap.

I'm tellin' ya, that dog is trouble. No wonder he ended up behind bars.

little dog and another outfit

He wants so bad to jump in my arms.

If this one had sound, you'd hear me crying out in pain from the freshly dug claw marks in my neck. He wins. This time.

stunning

Yes, this is me, posing in front of the bathtub in the mirror and maybe you can't really get the full effect of the heels and accessories and perfectly fitted brown tweed skirt and cashmere sweater, but I think this outfit is just.plain.stunning.

like a weasel or a ferret

It's hard to get a good picture of Gus. He's always trying to get away from JoJo and her ball-squeaking moves. Life is intense for him and he's always looking over his shoulder for her or keeping an eye out for a cat to chase.

Or, maybe it's just that his body is a weird combination of breeds. His head always looks tiny on his terribly long body.

He's got these tiny little legs and sadly for him, he doesn't weigh much, so he's always getting pushed around. But that tail--who couldn't love that tail?

And there's always JoJo chasing after him...

He doesn't ever--EVER!--relax. It's like his body is always on alert, ready to spring like a weasel or a ferret.

I know about ferrets because one day at our old house, I heard our three dogs barking madly out back. It wasn't their usual, "Mom, somebody's on the skywalk" bark or their "There's a dog on a leash out front" bark. It was more frantic and demanded immediate attention. As I went out back, I saw Scout, our chow, totally focused on something that was darting about in the grass. The two collies, Ginger and Dollie were leaping up and over and around Scout, barking, yipping, moaning, and all of the while, Scout was doing his best to stay on task, which task was attempting to catch a ferret that had wandered into our back yard. The ferret was making this clicking noise, which I interpreted as scared ferret noise, and I was certain Scout was going to get that ferret or else. The collies, sweet girls that they were, didn't understand that as a team they could have easily caught the ferret. They thought the game was "let's trip up Scout" or maybe "hey Scoutie, whatcha doin?" Thanks to the collies, the ferret made it safely under the fence to freedom.

Gus reminds me of that ferret, darting about, making odd sounds, wandering into situations that have the high potential for a bad ending.

Unlike ferrets though, Gus is cute. Especially when he stands on his hind legs doing his very best prairie dog impression. Not that I can catch that on film.

It's a good thing for Gus that he's so adorable.

Shoulda made sure the box lids were on tight. Had I worn these shoes yet? Yes, for about five minutes at the store. They fit beautifully. And those are the red boots I wore three times.

You may all agree with me now that the shoe/boot destruction thing truly stinks.