Monday, October 31, 2011

happy halloween

I have a whole new appreciation for Halloween after tonight.

My perspective of Halloween as a child was:

1. Mom tapes a picture of a black cat to the front window.
2. Wear costumes.
3. Wander the neighborhood until feet are frozen.
4. Get candy.


My teenager perspective of Halloween was:

1. Run around outside after dark.
2. Get candy.


My perspective of Halloween as an adult pre-parenthood was:

1. Buy candy.


My perspective of Halloween as a parent:

1. Design and create costumes for kids.
2. Buy candy.
3. Give out candy or walk through neighborhood until feet are frozen.
4. Clean off face makeup or hair color from children.
5. Await possible cleanup of vomit.


My perspective of Halloween as a gramma:

1. Buy candy.
2. Dote on cute little treaters.
3. Threaten anyone who scares my little darlings and try to help them understand that it is all pretend.


My perspective of Halloween after tonight:

1. Buy candy.
2. Watch Jr and Jack and Stu construct blinking eyes that line pathway to coffin that contains zombie who sits up as treaters approach through mist that rises around the walkway towards the stuffed monster sitting on the porch holding the bowl of treats who grabs the bowl as you reach for a treat.
3. Oh my gosh. Is it sick to laugh as Jr startles kids reaching for treats? Is it cruel for parents to encourage, cajole, and push their kids to pass through this nightmare-inducing pathway just so they can have a piece of candy, and then tell the kids to say thank you after Jr scares them? Is it hilarious to hear the big kids--teenagers--tell each other that this isn't scary, that's a real guy in the chair, hey maybe it isn't a real person, and then scream like little girls when his hand moves toward the bowl?


This has been the best.Halloween.ever.

And you should know, Jr didn't touch anybody. And he takes off his mask and offers the bowl of candy to little kids.

And scaring adult men who dress up is possibly the most fun of all.


Don't you think they would be terrified if they knew we have raccoons?


Joey said...

My kids always remember houses where people went the extra mile to make it fun. And somehow it's so fun to be scared on Halloween when it's not any other time.

I don't know why.

Jessie said...

I was laughing so hard at the image of this that I had to read it out loud to Cory. Who also laughed. Awesome.

Shi said...

lol that sounds fun :D

Lisa B. said...

raccoons are the scariest thing IN this post.

(how fun your night sounds!)