remember when you were a kid

Remember when a fever lasted three days at most and then you'd start feeling better?

Remember when a cold lasted 14 days or two weeks and then you'd be feeling better?

Remember when a few doses of that pink bubblegum flavored medicine made you feel better?


What is going on?  You get older and your ailments take a year or two to recover from, unless you agree to some tortuous treatment. 

Shoulder manipulation seemed cruel enough last year.  Recuperation took months.

And now, now that little stye?

Not a stye at all.  Blocked oil gland.  Did you know you have oil glands around your eyelids?  Their purpose is to keep small amounts of oil in your eyes in order to keep your tears from evaporating too quickly.

So those red, dry, itchy eyes?  Blocked oil glands, which, if you are really lucky will become chalazions.

And the treatment for chalazions?  A year of hot moist washcloths on your eyes three times a day for a year or more will cause them to shrink and eventually go away.

Or you can do the quicker and way more fun thing:  injections in your eyelid.  Today and then again in a month just to be sure.

Really nice doctor.  I asked him if the injections would hurt.  He said just a little poke, they give them to children.  Seriously?  Big ole' manipulator, that's what he was.

He didn't feel a thing.  I did.  And because I'm such a delicate flower, I also got a black eye.

Boo.  Hoo.  for me.  Right?