okay, this is going to be a rant

Am I the only one who is pretty much sick and tired of reading blogs that just go on and on about how messed up they are and how depressed they are and how lousy the blog writer's childhood was and how hard everything is. And don't even get me started about bloggers who post pictures about their adorable grandkids and seriously, who wants to see pictures of other people's pets running at amazing high speeds?

Man, I'm so sick of that stuff.

Oh--one other thing--We need a name for our lil' brudder.

1090 part 2

How, how, how will I ever figure out the correct input in Excel in order to properly analyze linear programming data?

If that sentence left you scratching your head, wondering what the heck I'm talking about, well, welcome to my club. My math club. My math 1090 project club. Argh.

now why does that date sound familiar?

All day yesterday I kept thinking I was missing something. Every time I entered the date into a document or an agreement at work, I found myself wondering about that date. Why was June 24th a date I remembered? What significance did it hold? I knew it wasn't a birthday for any of my kids or their spouses or kids or Jack or me or our parents or siblings. But still, it seemed like I was forgetting something that made it a special day.

Today, as I was driving north, it hit me. The Cowboy Junkies were going to perform at the Arts Festival downtown on June 24. That must be why I remembered that date, and dang if I didn't forget to go see them. I love their music, especially "Sweet Jane." I find myself humming that song and thinking about our sweet Janey. I told myself that was the reason the date was familiar.

But still. That wasn't it. I knew the Junkies were performing on Thursday, but I hadn't noted the date as June 24th. Last night while I was forgetting to go to the concert, I did my best to stay away from my computer. No internet shopping, no blogging, no freecell. I needed to do my math homework, which is how I spent the evening.

The day before my ex-boss's last day at work, another attorney was in our office, working with my boss on an issue. The other attorney noticed the pictures on my boss's desk of his brand new, longed-for, eagerly awaited, adored, granddaughter and commented about the cute little girl, asking my boss her name. My boss, who had been under tremendous pressure for months, hesitated, stuttered, and said, "Her name is, uh, uh, her name is..." and his voice trailed off. Both Eileen and I called out, "Her name is Addie" and my boss said that was right, her name is Addie.

Tonight, when I checked out Facespace, I finally realized the true meaning of June 24th. It is the day when one great guy promised to stay with my one great girl eternally. It is the day they started their trip on the great adventure that is their life together.

I've watched those two together for the past six years. I've watched them become a couple and then become parents and then add more children to their family. I've watched them worry and enjoy. And I'm so glad to see them together, working, playing, talking, learning, laughing.

I've never been the mom or wife or friend who makes a huge deal out of stuff. I think I only planned one birthday party for my kids that involved more than a few party games or a trip to play laser tag and eat pizza and cake and ice cream. I don't decorate for holidays except Christmas, and as much as I like to see my old friend ornaments and such, I don't know if I'd even get them out if it weren't for Jr, who drags out the boxes and hangs the lights and decorates.

I'd like to be able to say that I remember all of the important events and milestones in life. I remember moments, like when Jessie tried on her wedding dress and like when she invited me to her first ultrasound and I saw Breanne for the first time. I remember many years ago, when I got my first car and had my first date with Jack and held my babies for the first time, but I seem to be losing yesterday and last week. I am blaming this on the stresses of life.

The point of this post is to say, "Happy Anniversary yesterday, Cory and Jessie." I hope you had a sweet day together and many, many more forever.

~~~~~~

And Stu and Shi, if I didn't mention it, Happy Anniversary last May 10.

1090

That is the math class I'm taking this summer. Took my first test tonight. How bad could it be really. Only ten questions. I wasn't the last one finished. Would have been better if I'd worked through all 150 homework problems instead of only 126. But now Section 1 is done. My teacher reminds me of my gramma. Not her age or appearance, it's her gestures and phrases. Like when she says things like, "It's the same banana." Or, "Oh, dear, I just ran a red light." And she isn't talking about fruit or driving, but she uses these endearing phrases and she lets out these adorable little giggles. So like visiting with my gramma or playing blackjack with her.

Since I have so much homework, I haven't completed my list of household tasks for several weeks. There has been no dusting, no wiping off of the fingerprints, and no finishing of the laundry. Okay it may have been more than a few weeks since any dusting or wiping off has been completed, but I did buy Jack a big passel of new socks for his birthday so at least he has clean socks.

And then there's all the adjustment time at work. New boss, new assignments, plenty of existing assignments and seriously no time to work on my homework at the office. Attended two meetings today and came away with three pages of new tasks. So obviously I had to go back to my desk and my computer and my shopping bag at kohls.com and place an order. I'd been spending a bit of time the past few days clicking around kohls' website and not so amazingly found dresses and tops and intimates and jackets and sweaters and a pair of capri pants or as my mom would say, peddle pushers. (which reminds me that it's way past time to begin riding my bike this summer.) And not only did I use my 15% off of everything coupon, but also my no shipping charges coupon and now have $50 in kohl's cash that I get to use between July 1-13.

I am always pleased to rediscover how very calming a lovely yellow cardigan feels before I've even put a hand in its sleeve and how exciting a bright blue ruffly vera wang dress can be and how much more I'm looking forward to getting dressed each day.

remember that one time

There may be some people who would argue this, but I try really really hard to be nice. I try to see the other guy's side. Waaay more than I should. Therapy may or may not fix this flaw in me.

But every now and then, I go along with the crowd, or maybe even lead the way, and do something mean or thoughtless to somebody else. And someplace along that way, I realize that whatever I'm doing is mean or thoughtless and I want so much to hit the life rewind button and stop this whole mess before it ever begins.

But obviously, I cannot find the rewind button.

Like the time in sixth grade when one of the girls in my class had a little notebook that she kept writing down stuff in and somehow the rest of us girls got the idea that she was writing stuff about all of us in the notebook. So we got mad at her. All fifteen of us mad at that one little girl. (She was very short.) I still feel bad about that mess. She and I remained friends all through school, we sat next to each other in band. But still.

And there was the time a bunch of us girls went to visit a boy who was interested in two of us at the same time. We walked to his house, rang the bell, chatted up his mom (I think), and convinced him to come outside to talk to us. And then, this is the embarrassing part, we gradually encircled him. Can you even imagine being a ninth grade boy, standing in the middle of a circle of ninth grade girls that were staring you down and intimidating you? Yikes.

And then there was that one time yesterday when, well, can I just say that I did something stupid and I so wish I hadn't done it? It's so fresh and painful and unbelievably not like me and I will never-never-never do anything like it again.

I am so human. And for as much as I say, I can be a very poor communicator.

even though he doesn't read this

Today is Jack's birthday, and while he doesn't usually read my blog, I thought I'd give my three regular readers a chance to wish him a happy day. Nice, I know.

The following list is five things I love about Jack, and if you, too, can identify things you love about Jack, please feel free to post them in the comments section and I will forward them on to him. This is not simply a desperate plea for comments.

1. He can fix anything.
2. He still likes the challenge of figuring out how to fix stuff.
3. He listens to my crazy ramblings always. Seriously. All of the time.
4. He's learned that he doesn't have to fix everything for me. Listening is a perfectly acceptable form of fixing.
5. This one may end up being a rambler, but one of the things I love most about Jack is the part of him that isn't always apparent to everybody, but it's the part of him that smiles and laughs when I do something goofy, and it's the part of him that comes out with little jokes between us, and it's the part that sings just to make me smile. That is my favorite part of Jack.

this is why

It is so difficult for those who are allergic to pet hair to be in our house.



No, Virginia, gerber daisies do not have long hair on their stems. Unless the cat rubs up against them. And tips over the vase and spills the water.

The hair is everywhere. If I didn't like these animals so much. Seriously. But still.