Thursday, December 13, 2012

we don't know the story

I saw a post on facebook the other day that started me thinking.  It was a post written by a college-age girl about how much she loves her mom, how much she appreciates all of the support over the years.

She said how grateful she is for this person (her mom) being in her life to do all of the stuff that _____ (her actual mother) didn't do for her over the years.

She was really writing to her stepmother.  And dismissed the woman who gave birth to her, raised her until the divorce, and likely reads her facebook posts.

I've been thinking ever since I read that post that none of us really knows anybody's story but our own.  We only know our version of how other people enter our lives, leave marks on our lives, and sometimes exit our lives.  We don't know much if anything about their lives, only our perception of how they impact us.  We don't know their intent.

It occurs to me that maybe I need to cut other people a bit more slack.  I need to have more compassion for others.  Because I don't really know their stories and everybody has a story.


Jake Wilde said...

I read the post, and I have to say that I am truly disappointed in the person who wrote that. She may have not been a perfect mother, but she was not a perfect daughter either. She needs to cut her mother some slack, and realize she did the best she could. Her own perfect mother wasn't so perfect when she was younger either.

gilian said...

But see, that's the point. Like everybody, she only knows her perspective, what she's experienced, what she's been told, what she's lived. That's why I think I, me personally, need to remember and not be too judgey...

Johanna said...

However, our natural inclination is to judge and we judge our parents as harshly as anyone. I'm as guilty as the next gal.

Love the lesson in "To Kill A Mockingbird" when Scout says that Atticus always said you never knew a person until you walked around in their shoes, but standing on Boo Radley's front porch was enough.

It's a lesson I have to learn over and over.

And sometimes, even when judging correctly, forgiveness needs to play a role in our relationships; not just for others welfare but our own happiness.