My mom has been begging my dad for almost two years to let her get a new puppy, a little, teensy sweetheart of a pup that, even when it is fully grown, I will be unable to call a dog because it will be so tiny and so cute (and that is said with a really high squeaky voice). Because of her increased interest in shopping, (the John Deere tractor for him, the new blue Grand Prix that she bought when she went to get the oil changed in her two-year-old gold Grand Prix--and many, many other purchases, large and small) he absolutely refuses to allow a new dog in the house. The only thing that has stopped her from getting a puppy is his constant threat that she better not get a puppy because he'd get rid of it and she better believe that he would.
She brought up the puppy again today and I suggested that perhaps if she promised dad that she wouldn't buy anything for three months, he might give in and get her the puppy. She said she didn't think he would ever give in, but that the first thing she was going to do after he died was to go out and get a puppy. And then she was going to go to Hawaii, because that is the other thing he won't agree to. I can just see it all now--dad passes away, mom gets the puppy and shows up at the services with the puppy in one of those puppy bags that Paris Hilton carries around, telling everyone who comes through the line to offer condolences, "Yes, this is a sad time, but I'm so glad I have my new little puppy, Bill, to keep me company and get me through this hard time." And every time the little puppy hears its name, Bill, it snarls at her. And she carries Bill on the plane with her to Hawaii...
Jack and I went to visit my parents tonight and of course, mom brought up the puppy and dad said, "Here we go again with the dog." I told him that I had suggested that she promise to not buy anything for three months and if she made it, he could get her a puppy and his response was, "I've been lied to before..."
Maybe you have to know them to see the humor...
Friday, January 18, 2008
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2 comments:
I have to admit, this post had me and the wife both laughing out loud. Good show. The only thing missing from the funeral statement was:
"Yes, this is a sad time, but I'm so glad I have my new little puppy, Bill, to keep me company in Hawaii for the next 3 weeks and get me through this hard time."
We'll see how good she is for the next 90 days I guess.
The story about the funeral with the pup and the airplane ticket to Hawaii in her purse (I'm embroidering . . .) is hilar.i.ous.
Hilarious! And I don't even know your folks. But I have a little picture in my mind.
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