Monday, January 12, 2009

and then

Ever have one of those days where you feel unsettled inside and unable to just settle down and accomplish something. Anything.

Today was that day. A little of this, a little of that, but mostly an almost unbelievable inability to concentrate on one task at a time. No focus in the gardens today.

Sometimes I get easily distracted. Today's thoughts and actions included:

Liver transplant research
Checked my 401k balance
Wondered about my friend, Sheri
Worried about my co-workers--health and security
Thought and worried about my dog--is it time or do we still have more time?
Wondered what I'd do today that would annoy the drummer
Wondered if Jr would be billing me for his latest basement project
More liver transplant research
Cleaned up after the dog after work
Read the State Supreme Court 2007 decisions
Yes, indeedy, all of that was going on in my brain while i was trying to accomplish stuff on the outside of my skull, my personal space as it were. Some of that happened--in spurts-- perhaps there were four spurts of focused effort.

Then, when Jack and I got home, Flash Dance, was on the TV. Which might not be the best ever movie or the best ever girl dancing movie, or even all that great (because it didn't even have John Travolta), and even though we missed the scene where she dances in the water, we did get to see the part where she takes off her bra from under her sweatshirt and where she removes her jacket in the restaurant, both moments that can induce serious focus. Flash Dance is the reason movies were great in the 80s. Big hair, leggins, leg warmers, loosely fitting hoodies, irene cara, 80's music in general. 'What a feeling, I can ham it up, Cuz I'm dancing for my life!" Awesome fun. No focus required.

Maybe, in my newly resolved 2009 mood, I will wake tomorrow morning with a new focus, I will have dreamed about the one focus area for tomorrow, and I will glow with focus, I will wreak of focus, those around me will recognize my new focus and I will be the focus of the focus. And I will accomplish massive quantities of focus all the while humming a song of focus and breathing in my focus.

Or perhaps I'll simply feel unsettled again and will spend the day trying to give myself a chance to understand the settling process while humming music from flash dance.

1 comment:

Lisa B. said...

Two thoughts:

Maybe you need to have your own private Flashdance moment--where you're dancing for your life, whatever that might mean.

When Ally McBeal was on years ago, when it was good, Ally went to a therapist who recommended that you needed to find your own theme song--the song that expresses who you are and that revs you up and focuses your attention. Perhaps you can figure out what your theme song is? Maybe it's that Irene Cara song or maybe a different one. Don't make it a sad song, though. It has to make you feel awesome about your own life.

And one more thought: xo