426 is a lot

this is how many people were let go today at my work
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my butt

This semester is kicking my butt.

This is not my butt.

calculus teachers

Write faster than anyone else on the planet.

Confirmed.

empirical anecdotal evidentiary proof

Would I be correct in stating that everybody takes a turn being a butthead at least once?

For some, once in life; for others, once a day or hour or week or month or year?

sofa overload

Yard sailing today:

1. Sturdy red wicker chair
2. Sturdy red and taupe and chocolate colored fabrics to make new deck chair cushions to replace the cushions Gus shredded this week
3. Six-shelf baker's rack for dvds
4. Extra large green chair and ottoman
5. Large (10 x 12?) Persian-type rug in reds, greens, golds, etc.
6. Comfortable couch that matches the chair and the rug--with additional stylish pillows
7. Three small board books (one that teaches different phrases in four languages) and one gigantic storybook about Mr. Grouchy
8. One stuffed Eeyore and one dolly
9. Two-seat jogging stroller for use while running or riding bike
10. Framed Monet print, "The Red Cape"

Followed by family reunion with some of my favorite people in the world and Jessie's chocolate mint brownies.

Now. What to do with the sofa?

one day my gramma showed me this

This is the home she lived in until she turned 9 in 1921 and her mom moved the family to Salt Lake.

When Gramma lived there with her mom, it was a hotel. Right next to the train tracks. I don't think the little boxy part on the right side was there when she lived there and I'm pretty sure there wasn't a minivan either or power poles and cords everywhere.

We had a memorable time together that day, driving around her childhood haunts. She would have been 98 this week. I still miss her, remember her, feel her near.

it will not be my fault

If Jr, in his fury, chops off a finger in the kitchen tonight while preparing his world-renowned leek soup, I am not responsible. I was amazed and delighted when he called me at work this morning and asked what I had planned for dinner tonight. Seriously. It was before 10:00 am. I never have dinner planned by 10:00 am.

I was looking forward to the leek soup. It is scrumptilicious. Especially with a crusty piece of bread. I am looking forward to a bowl of leftover soup and bread tomorrow. And I will remain hopeful that he has all of his digits and his self-esteem is whole.

i might need these

did you notice?

Have you noticed how absolutely delightful the weather has been for the past week or so? Temperatures in the 80's, slight breezes, warm sun, and the colors, ohhhh the colors of the sky, the leaves, the blossoms.

Sadly, there have been autumns past that I have missed--sometimes, we seem to go from the heat of summer directly to the cold of winter, skipping the warm days and chilled nights and mornings. But other times I have been indoors--on watch with a loved one or another loved one, or for a while, searching for my mind.

But autumn this year? I am so into it.

of all the things i could post

I just want to say that Stu and Jack and I had lunch together today and Stu is looking so good. Healthy. Thick hair and a beard just like Jack's in his younger days. A bit heavier and walking strong and sure. Enjoying a conversation.

Mostly, he looked so healthy. What a blessing.

i'ma keep this short.

I haven't posted for five days. Lots of events of sorts, but every time I started writing, it just wasn't working for me, so I've deleted.

However. I'm going to try to mention at least something about some of the events without my usual detail.

1. First, all of my kids should know that I have more than one best day in my life and more than one best moment of my life. Best is not only one in my life.
2. Don't worry, my mom is okay. Her visit to the ER this week was apparently, sadly, a plea for attention and not the kind of attention dad gives her. What a relief and an annoyance and so sad all at once. If I were to post all of the events of that afternoon, well, it would be a three-part post, so instead, let me just post some keywords from the five hours together: CMOS, cortisone injection, heart enzymes normal, no infection, Great-gramma Jensen and the other Great-gramma Jensen, Denmark, he said if she was going to accuse him, he was going to do it, running off with the housekeeper, teeth, shoes, necklace, call your brother in case he needs to stop by, take less blood pressure medicine perhaps the prescribed dose?, riding the train, riding the bus on one transfer, what's taking them so long, I'm removing these because that will get the nurse in here quick, I have a high tolerance for pain, she has a low tolerance for pain, he's 85, I've been under stress, Primary program, family reunion, 76 years old and watching year old great-grandson three days a week, what's taking so long?, he wants Wendy's, I want McDonald's, what's taking so long? There was a lot more. I left off the weird stuff.
3. The drawer and door hardware has arrived and the bathroom cabinets may be completed in the next day or so. I will post photos if and when.
4. Dale Earnhardt table update--complete. As soon as I finish the chairs, you'll get photos.
5. Calculus and Economics--massive quantities of homework and new concepts. Nothing new there, right?
6. Yes, I was in a collision Thursday evening, but I am recovering just fine. The collision--JoJo and Gus racing full speed into my room, not realizing I was standing next to the bed they were leaping onto. I saw them out of the corner of my eye and my thought was--this is what it feels like just before you get hit by a car--and then they clobbered into me, knocking me partly onto the bed and partly onto the floor. I couldn't decide if my arm was broken or if my leg was broken or if my insides were broken, I only knew I thought I was going to barf. Yes, it was intense. Amazingly, the only bruised part is my right leg and a bit of Advil has handled the familiar achy all over feeling I get every time I fall down by myself.

here i go again

A few years ago, I was out in our little datsun pickup, about this time at night, picking up a friend who lived in an area that was under road construction. I bounced over the torn-up road into her driveway and dropped her off before heading home to bed. Jack was home with our oldest kid, who was in bed already. Jack and I sat around for a while and eventually went to bed. I was exhausted. But for some reason, I woke up, wide awake, at 3:25 am. I sat up and looked around the room and then after a bit, I laid back down and went back to sleep. At 3:30 am, i woke up again, wide awake. By 3:35 am, I thought, ah, more false labor. Time to get into a tub of warm water to stop the contractions.

I filled the tub and climbed in--just eight and a half months pregnant. But the pains didn't stop. They continued every five minutes for two hours. I was unable to raise up my fully blossomed body, so instead, I reached my toes to the drain and let out a bit of water every so often and replace it with hot water. Around 5:30, Jack wandered in, with a puzzled look on his face, asking what was I doing? I told him I was in labor but stuck in the tub, so he hoisted me out, handed me a large towel and found a phone to call the doctor.

We were told to get to the hospital immediately, which we took to mean after we took the dog to the breeder and Stu to Jack's mom's house. Somehow, it was after 9:00 before we arrived at the hospital and apparently, there were medical people there who were certain we had delivered the baby someplace along the way because they'd expected us around 6:30, ready to deliver a baby.

And because we were so tardy, the doctor had headed back for his morning appointments and was just five minutes away if I was ready to deliver. After the nurses did all of the prep stuff and hooked up the monitors, they checked me and after six hours of good steady strong contractions, I was dilated to a 1/2. The doc decided to come back around lunchtime and perform the scheduled c-section.

So we spent a calm morning waiting for 1:00 when the doc showed up and started the procedure. And in just a few minutes, I heard the most amazing thing--my baby's healthy cry and the nurse's voice announcing that she was a girl. A girl. A daughter. A sweet soft fluffy squeaky healthy darling. That was the best moment of my life. Even still.

Happy birthday sweetie!

i forgot two things

1. Jack might be getting a new hobby: robots.
2. This is my favorite recent granddarlin' photo--1st day of swimming lessons:

a few thoughts. maybe five.

First. I should probably thank Jr for deciding he needed to take a bath tonight. Which means he had to empty out the tub--the temporary closet in the bathroom while I've been painting closets and drawers and cabinets. I thought about sorting through the heap of towels yesterday and only putting the newer towels back into the linen closet. Jack said he might be able to use the old, ratty-looking towels as rags in his shop. So, Jr's bath tonight meant he piled up the heap of towels on the bathroom floor, which inspired me to sort through them and bag up the old ones and place the newer ones neatly on the shelves. And thank Jr also for lighting that lighthouse candle and leaving it on the side of the tub so JoJo's tail could wag it into the tub, and break it into little pieces. It never really did match any of my decorating. And in a few more days, the new hinges and handles will arrive and be installed and maybe I'll post a picture of the newly painted cabinets.

Next, yesterday is the first time I've eaten a Twinkie in I don't know how long. I liked them as a kid, but I think the last time I ate one was shortly after my mom got a microwave oven. One of the first ones in the neighborhood--almost as large as a real oven. My dad thought it was amazing that you could put a stale roll or piece of bread into the microwave for 22 seconds and it came out warm and soft and tasty. That Twinkie? It was a bit stale. So I put it in and 22 seconds later, I had a warm Twinkie with hot, liquid white stuff inside. Totally ruined Twinkies for me.

But yesterday, after doing Calculus homework for all of my life in the past week, I was ready for a treat. We had no ice cream, no cookies, brownies would take too long to make, and I'd already had watermelon. So Jack and I had Twinkies. And tonight, we had another one each. Costco. It's going to kill us all.

And speaking of Calculus. Class was tonight. Turns out the homework and practice test and test are not due until next week. Tonight I am not doing Calculus homework. I am watching TV. Have I ever explained my theory about math? I have this idea that there was only so much math available, but one day, two brothers were trying to outdo each other in math, and when they got to the end of math, one of them made up imaginary numbers. And to outdo him, the other brother made up square roots and decimals and on and on and on. If you doubt the truth of this, let me just show you what I learned in Calculus tonight:

The limit of a constant is the constant.
The limit of a power is the power.
The limit of a root is the root.

See. Is that from the minds of a couple of nine-year-olds or what?

Lastly, maybe. That baby jumpy seat I bought for $5? Remember how hard I had to work to get Cailin to smile? Turns out that:

Baby jumpy seat + Cailin = giggling, smiling, twirling, adorable darling.

Okay. Lastly, for sure. I don't think I'll be trying to save Oscar from Gus Gus again. Not after he sank his fang into the skin between my fingers as I tried to move him off the desk that GusGus was jumping up onto. The fang caused bleeding, but not enough--apparently all of those first aid lessons in girl scouts were right about puncture wounds getting infected, because after just 24 hours or so, my knuckle is kinda red and swollen.

Okay. Really last. There is nothing like a granddarling telling you that she finally figured out what it means when someone says you are in their minds and in their hearts. She learned it from a card from her gramma. And she told Jack and me that it means you love them and they love you. And we are in her mind and in her heart.

but still

I have been buried in homework. And I have several more coats of paint to go on the cabinets. And a thorough sanding on the Dale Earnhardt Wheaties box table.

But today is Saturday and Saturday is yard sailing day! Sugar and I had so much fun. Driving and snacking and laughing and talking and finding all kinds of stuff we didn't even know we needed. The oddest thing we saw today turned out to not be so odd--it was a windchime or mobile of little Nemo clay figures, but all but one of them was wrapped up in tissue, so without my glasses, it looked like one Nemo and ten smashed marshmallows or mushrooms. Or something.

Today's treasured purchases included a couple of size 5 pants/hoodies, an adorable pair of boots that will fit either Ellie or Cailin, a couple of snuggly little dollies, a bendy cow, a mobile with stuffed animals from the sea (non-Nemo), and a Graco baby jumpy seat that was only $5. Also, for $1.35, I got a full-length mirror to mount on the back of my bedroom door, two little vases ($1) that are the perfect size for the flowers that the girlies regularly pick for me as they come in to visit, and two chair frames (FREE!) that will be stellar companions to the Dale Earnhardt Wheaties box table. As soon as I paint them black, talk Jack into making seats bottoms for them, and mod podge the other two Wheaties boxes onto them.

I call this a well-spent morning. Now I will don my painting clothes and put in a good effort towards finishing a couple of projects today. And then I will finish my homework. But that might be tomorrow.

just wondering

Do we only see in others that which we cannot see in ourselves? Or are we all composites that include a bit of everything but in varying quantities?

hear me roar

I may have mentioned this before, but I am woman. Hear me roar. For example:
1. I sing alto, the range of women.
2. I never pass by a bathroom.
3. Which makes me wonder who in the world designed public women's bathrooms? Why do those bathroom designer people put the toilet paper holder on the same side of the stall that the door opens towards, thus blocking my exit from the stall. How difficult would it be to put the toilet paper on the left side of the stall so it would be covered by the opening door and there would be a wide, clear path out of the stall. Isn't life and time spent in hospitals and airports hard enough without having to fight to get out of a bathroom stall? Seriously. If you know the address of those bathroom stall designer people, please send it to me and because I am a woman, I'll send off a letter explaining the dilemma and offering a quick solution and one more of the minor irritations in life could be crossed off of the list.

Now my work for the day here is done. Well, except I forgot to include donuts on the dessert list, so I'm adding them now and in celebration, I will even add one--chocolate chocolate--to my body by way of my mouth. Dunford Donuts are truly remarkable.

just desserts

I'm still starting and completing homework (lots and lots of m.a.t.h. and so much thinking required to answer so few economics questions), mod-podging a table (it would have gone much better had I followed my plan instead of rushing headlong into this one), and painting bathroom cupboards and drawers (I forgot they would need one coat of primer and two coats of paint, and the doors must be painted first on one side, then wait while that side dries, then paint the other side and wait while it dries before painting the first side, blah, blah, blah).

I took a break to think about dessert. So many choices. So many favorites.

1. My homemade pie. All kinds.
2. Cream puffs and eclairs.
3. Ice cream cones. Soft serve, twist, or that other kind--hard packed into the cone.
4. German chocolate cake.
5. Creme brulee.
6. OH--cookies. Definitely cookies.
7. Brownie hot fudge sundae.
8. Anything with pudding.
9. Rice Krispie treats. Or s'mores. Or any other cereal-involved dessert. probably.
10.Strawberry shortcake. I knew there was some dessert with fruit in it.
11. Little Debbie snacks. Hostess treats in a pinch.
12. Candy. Not really a dessert and perhaps another list for another day.

Did I miss anything?

number six hundred

This is my 600th post. Thanks for coming along for the ride. Yet another update for this holiday weekend.

1. Go to zoo with girlies and others (check)
2. Sand, (check) prime, (check) and paint bathroom cupboards
3. Paint (check) and mod-podge Dale Earnhardt table--let's convince Jack it should be a high-banked oval (circular, not oval. good enough.)
4. Yard sail with Sugar (check) and maybe even Colleen (not this time)--plead with the cosmos to send a full-length mirror my way (not this time)
5. Finish lots of homework (uh, maybe tomorrow) (tomorrow)
6. Begin lots of homework (some, not lots) (lots of reading, the night is young)
7. Fly to tropical vacation in Maui (not this year)
8. Commemorate one-year mark since Stu's health took a huge turn for the better (so grateful every day--he just called and asked if I remembered what I was doing a year ago) (see below**)
9. Win Idaho lottery (only possible if I take a trip to Idaho to purchase winning ticket)
10. Mend the 3/4" hole that has been chewed in my lovely flowered yellow quilt (picked up the fabric and thread) (check)

they look so innocent

11. Hang up three new jackets, three new skirts, countless new tees (oh yes I did and also moved many not-worn-for-a-year items to an extra closet, soon to be donated to someone who will love them and their gently-used nature)
12. Smile slyly at my clever shopping skills (yes, of course, still, always) (how clever? new top, new capris, <$10) (I know, amazing!)

**From the time spent tonight at Stu's:

This girl is a poser.


These two, not so much.


I can always count on a hug from this one.


This one loves to take pictures.


Check out the mom in the corner.


Maybe a bit odd, but we had cake for Stu's liver's one-year birthday.

I don't know what the appropriate celebratory event is when it's been one year since a liver transplant. If you were Carolyn and we were in your office, you'd be asking me to describe my feelings and I would need to pause and collect my thoughts. You would be handing me the ever-present box of tissues so I could take a moment to calm my sobs, dry my eyes, and blow my nose. When I think about my emotions for the past year, I recognize fear, concern, worry, doubt, anger, relief, pain, more concern, gratitude, more relief, more relief, joy, gratitude, sadness, calm, joy, and peace. And then a year ago tomorrow, it started again. In no particular order.

I saw an article in the local paper about a memorial wall that has been erected recently to recognize organ donors, and alongside that article was a picture of a weeping mother whose son had told her just weeks before his death that he wanted to be a donor, and she honored his wish. My heart is broken for her even as my heart rejoices watching my now healthy son with his family. I never, for a second, forget her pain and selfless choice. I will be grateful to her forever.

I guess the easiest way to describe my feelings about today is in pictures. This is last year:

This is tonight:

update from yesterday's plans

train ride at the zoo--last bit of zoo fun yesterday

Ellie & Shi


Audrey


Breanne


Janey

Cailin & me--Jessie's favorite pic of the day

Yes, we saw animals, but who wants pictures of animals when we also enjoyed a train ride, ice cream cones, and the carousel?

if you look closely, you can see Breanne catching and blowing kisses from and to me & Cailin

1. Go to zoo with girlies and others (check)
2. Sand, (check) prime, and paint bathroom cupboards
3. Paint (check) and mod-podge Dale Earnhardt table--let's convince Jack it should be a high-banked oval
4. Yard sail with Sugar (check) and maybe even Colleen (not this time)--plead with the cosmos to send a full-length mirror my way (not this time)
5. Finish lots of homework (uh, maybe tomorrow)
6. Begin lots of homework (some, not lots)
7. Fly to tropical vacation in Maui (not this year)
8. Commemorate one-year mark since Stu's health took a huge turn for the better (so grateful every day--he just called and asked if I remembered what I was doing a year ago)
9. Win Idaho lottery (only possible if I take a trip to Idaho to purchase winning ticket)
10. Mend the 3/4" hole that has been chewed in my lovely flowered yellow quilt (picked up the fabric and thread)
11. Hang up three new jackets, three new skirts, countless new tees (oh yes I did and also moved many not-worn-for-a-year items to an extra closet, soon to be donated to someone who will love them and their gently-used nature)
12. Smile slyly at my clever shopping skills (yes, of course, still, always)

four days

Oh, holiday, glorious holiday. And Friday off. Free Friday. What to do with all of this time away from work? Herewith, twelve options:

1. Go to zoo with girlies and others
2. Sand, prime, and paint bathroom cupboards
3. Paint and mod-podge Dale Earnhardt table--let's convince Jack it should be a high-banked oval
4. Yard sail with Sugar and maybe even Colleen--plead with the cosmos to send a full-length mirror my way
5. Finish lots of homework
6. Begin lots of homework
7. Fly to tropical vacation in Maui
8. Commemorate one-year mark since Stu's health took a huge turn for the better
9. Win Idaho lottery
10. Mend the 3/4" hole that has been chewed in my lovely flowered yellow quilt
11. Hang up three new jackets, three new skirts, countless new tees
12. Smile slyly at my clever shopping skills

Okay, so maybe 7 and 9 aren't happening and 11 can't happen until I snag some of Jr's hangers or buy a few more or clean out and donate a few things. And I should probably not be quite so pleased with my nearly out-of-control shopping. But if it's a great deal, in the style and colors you love that love you, how can you not smile?

And yes, it has been one year. Sometimes forever, and others, just yesterday.