Wednesday, May 20, 2009

i don't think i mentioned this

It's been almost two years since I left school, rather unexpectedly, really. Back then, when I broke into shards and then tiny little bits and pieces and realized that between the medications and my painfully obvious inability to collect all of the bits of my mind that were strewn about--that even though I did my best to pick up all of the pieces, crawling around finding them under the furniture and behind the doors and seemingly splattered everywhere else I looked--I was simply going to have to give up on college. I did not think I could or would ever go back because I didn't think I would ever find the strength or the desire to even consider it again.

But, last week, while checking out the college workout and weight lifting rooms website, I felt this little stirring of interest in school again. Surprisingly, that stirring led to a desire to see just how many classes I still needed to complete my degree. And amazingly, that desire led to my fingers clicking away on the college website and determining that I only needed eight more classes to graduate--four general ed classes and four classes in my major field of study.

I had been so close. So close.

That is when I realized I was ready to finish now. I wanted to go back to school, go back to finish my degree, go back to studying and learning like I did almost two years ago.

I started scanning through the class schedule, checking out my options, and before I knew it, I was registered for classes that began this week. And I'm back in school. And once again, it is scary and fun and educational and good and overwhelming. But mostly good.

Mostly, it feels really good.

4 comments:

Jessie said...

I'm proud of you.

Lisa B. said...

Wow! So exciting to hear this. You can, of course, do this. I am so thrilled!

Johanna said...

Way to go! Pace yourself and enjoy these last eight classes. No rush, just take time to learn.

You have my admiration!

Skybird said...

You also have my admiration! Remember that although we are not always aware of it, there is a time and a purpose for everything under heaven! (Music playing...)

Good for you! We always seem to be having to work on parts of ourselves that sometimes we don't think we need to, but eventually we get to anyway! Healing your mind had to come before stuffing it full of new stuff! It has to be cleared of the old unworking portions before new can take place. As a gardner, you should be very familiar with this concept!

Awesome for you!