Sunday, November 23, 2008

oddity or fact?

1. One of my friends--who I won't identify by name, but her name is the same as the stuff you sprinkle on sugar cookies--emphatically insists that men who drive big monster SUVs--think Hummer--have small body parts somewhere. On their bodies. Which will forever change the way I view guys in Hummers, in much the same way that reading fortune cookie messages changed forever after a friend suggested I add the words, "in bed" to the end of my fortune cookie message.

2. I've been performing an experiment recently. In my twenties, I started shaving my legs nearly every day. Not in an act of rebellion against my mother, who insisted that the more often you shave, the faster the hair grows, but instead, at the advice of a silly girl I worked with at the time who insisted it was much easier to shave every morning in the shower. Yeh, I let an airhead who was probably five years younger than me determine how often I would perform this ritual, and lucky for me, she didn't suggest something more outrageous, like exercising without a bra to ensure good muscle tone or consuming 5000 calories every day to improve my skin.

Back to my experiment. Some of my friends--not the friend mentioned in #1 above--are a few years older than me, and they claim that they no longer shave their legs because the hair has stopped growing. Whaaaa? No more shaving? A benefit to aging besides all of the wisdom I've gained? It sounded good to me, so just like that (picture my fingers snapping), I gave up shaving.

I had to change the plan after six days and three of those days were when I was under the influence of lortab. For the past few weeks, I've been shaving once a week, and it's, um, okay as long as I don't look at or touch my legs. And nobody else does either.

I'm not sure where this whole experiment is going, but let me say that I cannot even describe how disappointed I was this morning when, after a very thorough shaving, I turned off the shower and opened the door to grab a towel and watched as Millie hurried into the shower and rubbed up against my hairless legs, leaving more hair than I could grow in three months.

1 comment:

Joey said...

That's so funny! I remember Joan Robinson telling us in junior high that her mother never shaved her thighs, just her calves, and so she had no hair on her thighs.

Well, I have a medical condition where the doctor's have said not to way. I'd rather live with the itch. I can get rather hairy fast.

But the hair on my arms doesn't seem as dense. Maybe it's because as I have gotten fatter, there is more space for less hair to cover. Or something like that.