marley & me

Jack and I went to the movies this afternoon. We saw Marley & me in a theater that was not even 1/4 full. Without giving anything away about the movie, let me just say that while I thought it might be a sappy waste of time, I'd heard that it was good, and I was not disappointed. We both enjoyed it, but I quickly lost track of how many times Jack and I squeezed each others' hands when we recognized yet another scene that could have been written by us. I'm tellin' you, it was as if we were watching a blog of so much of our life together.

If only the internet had been invented 30 years ago. Sheesh.

is this great or what?

I'm sitting here on the sofa, under my favorite tv viewing blanket, with my bare feet up on the footrest, my belly full after dinner and my compy on my lap, thinking about how good it is to feel.

All of that accompanied by the sound of Jack doing the dishes.

Can life get any better?

before you read the next two posts

Can I just ask a couple of things?

1. Do you just think my new masthead is as totally cool as I think it is? I could go on and on about how much it says and how it speaks to me, but I'll let you, dear readers do that instead...
2. Has skybird gone south for the winter or what?
3. Did I mention that Christmas was great around here, that everything got done in time, that we've survived without the caramels and toffee, that I've almost eaten the entire box of inexpensive cherry chocolates I bought for myself, half of the pecan log from Jack's mom, and most of the Christmas cookies (at least the ones that I didn't send to the neighbors), that work in the basement has slowly started to begin again (think molasses on a cold winter day, even though I've never really seen that, but it sounds very slow), that Dolly has forgiven me for trimming her one toenail too short (I can't even begin to say how devastated I was when I saw her blood--aaarrgh), that my mom seems to be behaving sensibly, and that I really enjoy blogging?

five things

My daughter-in-law, Shilo, tagged me--twice!--so this and the next post are probably more than you ever wanted to know about me, but if tagged, I respond. So--

Five Things I Was Doing 10 Years Ago:
1. Wearing braces and working at my kids' orthodontist's office
2. Worrying about money
3. Weighing a lot less
4. Living in a different home
5. Spending time with my gramma

Five Things On My “To-Do” List Today:
1. Watch football
2. Blog
3. Do some of the puzzles on Merriam-Webster.com
4. Cook a yummy dinner
5. Hope the kids and grandbabies all come to visit

Five Favorite Snacks:
1. Chai tea
2. Cherry chocolates
3. Jr mints
4. Midnight Milky Way bars
5. Christmas treats--cheeseball, candies, cookies

Five Jobs I Have Had:
1. Babysitter--earned enough to buy my own bike, a cool, green 10-speed
2. Sales Clerk at Sears--worked in every department (seriously, every department-how many 16-year-olds do you know who can sell draperies? yes, yes, I sold draperies)
3. Secretary--back when a desktop was the place where you used your typewriter, an IBM correcting selectric if you were lucky
4. Para-educator--fancy name for lunchroom monitor and playground aide at my kid's school. Imagine getting paid to play with kids--a great part-time job.
5. Paralegal--current job that I really enjoy. Lots of variety, great coworkers, boss, and pay.

Five Things I Would Do With a Million Dollars:
1. Get rid of debt for Jack, me and our kids
2. Invest wisely
3. Donate wisely
4. Build the cabin
5. Travel

Five People I Tag to Answer the Same Questions
1. You
2. know
3. who
4. you
5. are

a few of my favorite things--alphabetically

A — Attached or Single: attached
B — Best Friend: jack
C — Cake or Pie: pie, mmmmm, pie
D — Day of Choice: saturday
E — Essential Item: hmmm, besides food, diet coke, affection, time, beauty, learning, and clean teeth?
F — Favorite Color: green-my eyes and all of the different shades in nature
G — Greatest Accomplishment: parenting
H — Hometown: murray, home of the spartans, mighty mighty spartans
I — Indulgences: chai tea
J — January or July: january
K — Kids: four amazing adults who have created three and a half amazing grandchildren
L— Life is incomplete without: a cat on the bed and a dog at the door when i come home
M — Marriage Date: october 27
N — Number of Siblings: two brothers
O — Oranges or Apples: sweet, juicy oranges or crispy, tart apples
P — Phobias or fears: emotional abandonment, physical dependence
Q — Quotes: from my mom, "now, i need to say something that you're probably not going to want to hear, but..."
R — Reason to Smile: my darling grandbabies
S — Season: no favorites here--i enjoy the quiet white of winter, the wet green of spring, the hot orange of summer and the blustery rustling of autumn
T — Tag 5 Friends: i simply cannot tag anybody anymore. if you read this and would like to join along, please do, and let me know so i can learn more about you.
U — Unknown fact about me: well, it is no longer a secret that i cannot tag anybody anymore. i'm not sure there are any other unknown facts about me since i started blogging.
V — Very favorite store: kohl's because i can always find something there to buy
W — Worst habit: shopping at kohl's because i can always find something there to buy
X — X-ray or Ultra Sound: ultrasound when it's my first introduction to another grandbaby
Y — Your favorite food: no favorites when it comes to kids and foods
Z — Zodiac: Virgo

highlights of the day

1. bows and name tags on all of the gifts
2. breakfast in the gardens--a loaf of bread disguised as french toast (thanks, Stu!), two pounds of bacon, and two dozen eggs
3. the softest robe and a lovely hand-crafted scarf
4. light sabers for jack and me
5. dvds and toys for time with the girlies
6. inexpensive cherry chocolates
7. thoughtfully remembered surprises from the antique store
8. my cats and my dog
9. homemade rolls
10. dinner at Jessie's
11. Audrey's amazement by the 'stars'
12. Breanne's enthusiasm for the day
13. Janey's warm, i'm-safe-with-my-gramma snuggly sounds
14. time to appreciate the outside garden--windy, wet, snowy, and even quiet
15. none of my close loved ones in the hospital
16. friends in my life
17. near peace with the past
18. clean kitchen counters
19. hope for the future

Merry Christmas to all

Sensible--that's the ticket

My mom is home from the hospital. The angiogram showed no blocked arteries, so the doc says the pressure my mom felt in her chest (and this morning in her back) is from the atrial fibrillation--an irregular heartbeat--and the solution is for her to take two medications. He said the key word for her from now on would be 'sensible'. He noted that it isn't sensible for a 75-year-old woman to shovel snow or mow lawns, and sensible patients sleep more than four hours each night.

Clearly, if anything, my mom must be sensible. Take, for example, her ideas about Christmas lights.

From the end of the street:

Getting closer:

Yeh, definitely sensible.

Sure, sensible. No problem.

the best laid plans

The plan for today was:

1. Get up early, shower, get dressed.
2. Finish up the shopping.
3. Pick up a ham from Costco.
4. Return home to do the usual weekend chores.
5. Greet Jessie and the girls in the gardens for Christmas baking and candy making.
6. Prepare the ham.
7. Head out to my brother's house for the family Christmas dinner/party.
8. Return home to sweet dreams.

Instead, I:
1. Got up early.
2. Answered the phone to hear a quivering voice ask if I thought she should be concerned if she felt pressure in her chest and just didn't feel well.
3. Quickly dressed, brushed my teeth and picked up my mom to take her to the emergency room.
4. Waited while my mom was checked out and admitted to the hospital because her heartbeat was too fast and irregular--atrial fibrillation.
5. Stayed at the hospital until she insisted I leave.
6. Finished the shopping with Jack.
7. Went home to shower, dress, and then later, to play with Audrey.
8. Returned to the hospital to find that the medications the doc has given to my mom have lowered her heart rate and have regulated the rhythm as well. She will have an angiogram on Monday morning, to hopefully find no blockages, and perhaps she will return home later that day.

Usually, this Saturday before Christmas would have been spent wandering around stores, finding a perfect gift for one person and settling for an okay gift for another, over and over until the list was done or I was too weary to look at one more sweater or toy. Then I would have dragged myself and all of the bags of stuff into the house, into my room, so I could spread them out on my bed, removing tags and wrapping and determining whether or not I was truly done with the shopping. There would have been a marathon effort to bake and make candy and then more time to wonder what I'd forgotten, what was still to be done.

Today, that all changed. I didn't drag bags and bags of things around the stores and I didn't make batches of cookies and plates of candy. I didn't wrap any gifts or write any cards. And yet, I am more weary than ever. Today, I saw brief glimpses of a vulnerable frightened woman who wanted someone there who she knew loved her and would be there for her. My mom finally got to see that I do love her and I am there for her. Shopping at Walmart would have used less emotional energy than was expended today, but I'm so very relieved that she called when she did and she is doing as well as she is tonight.

glory hallelujah

A few days ago, my friend, Joey, posted about the baking she does for Christmas. I was astounded and commented on her blog that I wanted to know what it took to get on the list for some of the yummies she wrote about.

Tonight--wait for it---I started wrapping presents. Yes, I know, this is waaaay too early for me to be touching the tape and scissors, but, well, I thought it might be nice to have the presents under the tree in their shiny paper for more than six hours before it (the paper) was all ripped to pieces and left in piles around the living room for me to pick up and smash into hefty bags, early on Christmas morn while Jack and the boys either a) head back to bed or b) play with their new crap.

So, I assembled the wrapping supplies: rolls of Christmas wrapping paper that I bought in 2005 at Costco and the tape and the scissors and the blue sharpie I use to write the names on the presents. Because, seriously, what is the point of name tags for six hours? Ribbons? Don't even think about 'em. No, presents aren't pretty around the gardens because, well, for a long time, the girls were outnumbered by the boys and the boys didn't care about what the presents looked like on the outside, the important thing was what was inside the wrapping paper, so why bother?

So. I started wrapping tonight. I wrapped a couple of gifts for Jr and the drummer and my gift to my dad and then, what to my wondering ears did occur? The doorbell rang and there stood my friend, Joey, with a HUGE plate of assorted (and I mean seriously assorted and even more seriously HUGE) Christmas treats.

this is only about 1/2 of the treats.
the others were just as pretty and so yummy, right jr?

OH MY HECK! I LOVE BLOGGING! And Joey. Thanks friend.

they never do this when the bed is made

three cats on the bed

perhaps because the dog is in the house?

I almost got her smile...

you might think

Because I haven't posted since Sunday night, you might be tempted to think that I've been busily shopping and wrapping and baking and card-writing and candymaking.

Sorry, but you'd be wrong.

You might have thought I was working myself skinny in the basement, sorting and tossing and storing, even spackling or sanding or painting.

Alas, you would be wrong again.

After my shopping last weekend, I've felt satisfied that I am so far ahead of my usual Christmas pace that I can take it easy for a few days. So I have.

Last night, Jack and I went to a party with my coworkers. We enjoyed a tasty dinner and lots of laughs, and the gifts we took for the gift exchange were the hit of the evening.

Who knew adults could get so excited about a pen that shocks you when you try to use it or a 'bullsh*t' button that hollers smartypants remarks when you push it? Seriously, I work with nine-year-old boys.

boundaries--everybody's got 'em

Yesterday afternoon, my mom dropped by for a visit. I invited her to sit down on the sofa for a visit and as soon as she did, Oscar hopped up on her lap. Oscar isn't known around the gardens as a sweetheart, a snuggly, purring ball of fluff. No, Oscar is the cat with the overgrown case of cat independence.

Anybody who has been around that cat for more than ten minutes can tell you that there is never any question about how Oscar is feeling. If Oscar could speak English, he would refer to himself as Oscar, as in "Oscar does not want to be held just now, so put him down before he slices you open." But Oscar doesn't need words to express his feelings. He has his twitching tail, his laid back ears, his low throaty voice, his tightly wound muscles, and if all else fails, he has claws and teeth. Once the tail starts to twitch or he starts to moan, anybody with a lick of sense pushes away from him as soon as possible.

But you know my mom. As soon as Oscar jumps up to allow her to scratch around his ears, she immediately scoops him up and rolls him onto his back, which, of course, triggers the low growling yowl for which Oscar is so well known. His tail is freakin' out, his ears are as flat to his head as ever before seen, and he is clearly yelling, "Put Oscar down. NOW." But not my mom. No, she tells Oscar to settle down, stop being such a tough cat. And then she does the unthinkable. She grabs Oscar's face with her hand. And shakes his face. While she tells him to stop all of his fussing.

Of course Oscar immediately stops yowling, stops his twitching, and begins purring, encouraging her to shake him some more. NOT. He became even more enraged and before I could say, "Uh, you better let him go," my mom yelled, "HEY--you rotten cat!" and Oscar was dropped unceremoniously to the floor and then stalked under the table to stare back at her.

She didn't notice Oscar was still staring at her because she was examining the back of her hand where Oscar's teeth left four wounds, slicing open her fragile skin, leaving it bleeding and sore. She looked at her wounds for a few seconds and then asked if I had some neosporin and a bandage. And then she said, "Well, I can't really blame the cat, I was teasing him. Rotten cat."

I called her this morning to see how she was feeling and she said she was fine, but she should have tossed that cat down after he attacked her because he needed to learn a lesson about biting.

holy cow

You, dear readers, will simply not believe how much I accomplished today. Check this out:

1. Got myself to the Kohl's just as the wintry blizzard was blowing in, shopped for three hours, bought nothing that wasn't on sale, got an additional 20% off of everything, and got $100 in Kohl's cash that I can use between now and Christmas, drove back home during one of the breaks in the blizzard, and have nearly finished my shopping. JACKPOT!!!
2. Scooped out the catbox, tidied up the kitchen, laundry room, dining room, and my bedroom, did two loads of laundry, sorted out the stuff in the basement, got 45 minutes of effort out of Jr and the drummer in the basement so that a big load 'o great stuff went to the DI, paged through bags and boxes (my normal filing method) of old bills and receipts and warranties from 2002 and tossed out most of it, and took out a really big pile of trash.
3. Played and read and tickled and tagged along with Audrey for a couple of very enjoyable hours.
4. Hit the grocery store, picked up the usual stuff, a few extras, and ingredients for enchiladas, which were prepared by Stu and enjoyed by Jack, Stu and me. Audrey ate mini-frosted wheats at the bar while we discussed dinner. After dinner, she had a playful, splashy bath followed by lotion and warm jammies. And yes, I want that too.

All in all, a very productive, amazingly high energy day for me.

Did I mention that Jr and the drummer hauled all of the Christmas stuff upstairs, so now I know just how many Santa cookie jars and candy plates I need to fill. It's good to get a visual.

Oh, just two other things. About last night's post--I remember starting it, I remember taking my nighttime pill, and I remember waking up around 1:00 in the TV room thinking, I've gotta finish my post and get to bed. Millie was laying on my computer, and dang if that cat didn't finish my post for me, which explains my thinking that I could lay around tomorrow, get a hot breakfast, watch a movie, take a nap, and dinner would take care of itself. Seriously, I was more than a little confused to realize that the post was finished. I don't remember writing it. I'm very clever in my sleepy state.

The other thing--a couple of days ago, I read my friend Lisab's post wherein she foisted video from her new webcam upon her readers. I totally enjoyed hearing and watching her and realized, hey, I have a webcam. So I did what I always do when it comes to my compy, I asked Jack about it. Before long, the cam was up and running, but dang if MY MOM wasn't inside of my computer. How that ever happened, I'll never understand, but let me just say that after I recovered from the shock of seeing my mom on my computer screen, I leapt from the sofa and raced to my treadmill where I told myself I was never getting off. After a bit, I decided I was staying on it for at least an hour. And then I got off the beast after 15 minutes. In case you're wondering, yes I have been back on the monster since then. And I walked around a store for three hours this morning too.

Believe me, I'm more than a little afraid to turn on the webcam again.

i am making so much progress

Today at work, I made some decisions about Christmas preparations. It seemed like a good plan.

1. Do all shopping online tonight.
2. Buy groceries first thing tomorrow morning.
3. Clean basement tomorrow morning.
4. Bake cookies and make caramels tomorrow afternoon.
5. Meet Audrey's every need tomorrow evening.
6. Sleep in Sunday morning.
7. Go to movies Sunday afternoon.
8. Feed the family Sunday night.
9. Go back to work Monday morning.

The plan has fallen apart. Turns out I'm not much good at online shopping. I can't tell if I like the stuff I'm looking at, even if it is SERIOUSLY ON SALE. With FREE SHIPPING. I need to touch and be moved by the connection I get to the stuff I'm buying. Who knew I put so much effort into shopping?

Besides, after putting my new list down onscreen (since obviously I'm not putting it down on paper), I don't know, the list seems like way too much effort, like by Sunday night I'm going to be exhausted and so weary that it's another weekend closer to Monday.

This will be my new list for this weekend.

1. Blog and finish reading book that Sugar gave to me.
2. Sip tea while blogging and reading.
3. Sleep well.
4. Head over to Kohl's to get the killer deals tomorrow morning.
5. Stop at the grocery store to pick up a few things.
6. Dawdle along, tidying up here and there, and resting a bit.
7. Enjoy ms audrey
8. do together what families do together--prepare, serve, feed, tidy altogether.
9. read again or let mind wander to ideas of well-thought out gifts for those i love.
10 hot breakfast please and later a movie and then a nap.
11. dinner will work itself out, right?

uhhh

So far this year, I have not:

1. Made any lists of things to do in preparation for Christmas.
2. Figured out what gifts to buy for my children, grandchildren, parents.
3. Sent out any Christmas cards.
4. Put out any Christmas decorations.
5. Bought any Christmas gifts.
6. Wrapped any Christmas gifts.
7. Made any Christmas treats.

It occurs to me that:

1. My kids seriously ought to be giving me some major hints--in their blogs or perhaps on the whiteboard in the laundry room?
2. I may send only a few Christmas cards this year and maybe I'll take them in person to some of the friends who live nearby that I haven't seen for ages.
3. I might just head downstairs right now to gather up a few Christmas things to set out around the house. Some of my old favorites and some of my gramma's things she left to me.
4. Fortunately, Jr loves to decorate for Christmas, so our tree and lights are up. My lack-of-decorating-enthusiasm secret is safe, at least from the neighbors.
5. Obviously I don't have to wrap anything if I haven't bought anything, right?
6. I may make some chocolate-covered caramels with pecans to share with neighbors and friends because today at work I ate some really tasty chocolate-covered caramel. That's one of the big bonuses of working in a legal office--law firms send baskets of treats to the office at this time of the year. Of course, those big baskets of treats are one of the big reasons why I am going to go get on the treadmill as soon as I finish in the basement.

And there you go. My first list for Christmas this year is done. Sweet.

think before you do it

Today I got an email from Sugar that was one of those questionnaire things (Answer these questions and see what kind of [fill in the blank] you are!!) and since it was only four questions, I decided to waste a few minutes on it.

If I remember correctly--and we all know I don't, so don't hold me to this, Sugar--the email indicated it was from the Dali Lama (maybe?) and instructed me to choose my favorite number, make a wish, and remember it. Next, I was instructed, several times, that I should answer the four questions honestly, writing down the first thing that came to mind, and remember that it was critical that I not look ahead or cheat (cheat? while answering questions from the Dali Lama? Seriously).

After I answered the four questions, the meanings of my answers appeared, and of course, the meanings of my answers accurately defined me--or at least that's the way it seemed at first. I mean, who wouldn't choose a sheep as a favorite animal, followed closely by a horse, which, duh, clearly is interpreted as 'the most important things in life to me are love and family'. Obvious, right?

But then, I got to the part of the email that instructed me to send it to a certain number of friends so I could get my wish granted and if I did, my wish would come true, blah, blah, blah. WHAT? The Dali Lama is an email chain letter writer? Is nothing sacred? True, he didn't threaten me with dire consequences if I didn't forward the email to my friends, but well, I have a standing policy that doesn't allow me to participate in chain letters. even email chain letters. even from the Dali Lama. Period. (It's one of those things my mom taught me as a child about how those chain letters just clog up the mail system. I can't bring myself to rebel against her on this one.)

I have to admit that for a couple of minutes, I did contemplate who I might forward the email to. After all, I only had to send it to two friends and my wish would be granted on Saturday. And that is when I wished I had thought more carefully about my wish.

My wish was for Stuart to be better. I didn't wish for him to get better, or to be healthy, or to be healed. I just wished for better. What was I thinking? He was better today than yesterday, so in theory, my wish may have been granted and now I owe the Dali Lama a couple of links to his email chain. I bet you had no idea life was so complicated, did you?

After deciding that I had messed up my wish this time, and what I really wanted wasn't going to happen simply by forwarding an email to a couple of people, I started to think.

I wondered, just what would I be willing to do, what crazy or outrageous or simple thing would I be willing to do if I could have that one wish granted, that most deeply-held-in-my-heart-wish granted? And what wish would I want next? And would I be more careful the next time I was given the opportunity to make a wish?

what i did

yesterday, after rising early, catching up on my blog reading, puzzle solving, and list making, i:

1. ate strawberry pancakes at the ihop with jack (also ate one sausage)
2. cleaned up dog poo with jack (the poo-eatin' dog is not keeping up with herself, apparently)
3. got a new 'do--funky, spiky short (can i pull this off? of course i can!)
4. emptied out the shed and some shelves in the garage with jack (so much more tidy!)
5. tossed out a bunch of crap (besides the poo)
6. broiled a marinated-by-stu-london broil, which we ate with mashed red potatoes and peas (except for audrey, who had three bowls of 'yoyo' with milk [cereal with milk])
7. visited with my parents and brother while the boys put up the christmas lights (you'll want to see pictures of the lights)
8. tended to audrey's every need (and she kept it together amazingly well, considering she had no nap yesterday)
9. enjoyed almost every minute of a beautiful november day.

who you gonna believe?

When in the midst of chaos--fear and uncertainty, physical pain, the joy and stress of family and holiday times--do you go with the medical world--the sincerely helpful doctor with the medications from the folks who make the commercials that convincingly claim that sometimes life is too much to cope with, can only be survived and enjoyed by swallowing some of the pills they're selling?

Or do you go with the thoughtful therapist who says, hell yes, you are stressed, suffering, scared--who wouldn't feel that way given your circumstances, now let's lose the pills, develop some coping skills, and live?

Or can I simply sit on the stairs, survey the heap of memories amidst the junk that must be sorted and organized and stowed so that the basement remodel can proceed, and feel blessed when Jr passes me on the stairs, strokes the top of my head and says, "Mom, it's amazing, your hair never changes. It is always so soft, so comforting."

if i can't give you my liver...

Stu had his scope yesterday.

Just when I think I've thought of all of the possibilities, I learn that once again, I am no doctor.

The good news: the primary duct in Stu's liver is fairly uniform, not much inflammation.

The not so good news: the smaller ducts that branch off of the primary duct are inflamed and are beginning to clog up, which explains the yellow-colored whites of his eyes and his slightly tan-looking skin, aka, jaundice.

The other not so good news: the stent option (propping open ducts with teeny little toothpicks--or at least that's how I picture it) is not an option for smaller ducts.

The other not so good news: the doc did his best during the scope to 'blow them open' (and by 'them', the doc meant the smaller ducts) with some type of fluid, which may give Stu some relief from the jaundice for a while.

And then.

There's the other news: Stu visits his kind, compassionate Dr. Nielsen in a week, who will, once again, check his liver enzyme levels, and if the levels are still elevated, as the doc suspects they will be, introduce Stu and his liver to the liver transplant team at the local shiny new hospital.

Oh yes, one other tidbit--while Stu and I may be a very close match, it seems that the docs are no longer in favor of live donor transplants, so I will not be able to give a part of my liver to the boy. Fine. Just fine.

So, it seems, we've come to this now. Let's all hold on together for the ride, okay?

somebody needs a new plan

My plan to discontinue the meds doesn't seem to be working so well.

The euphoria of the early days has faded in much the same way the flowers of spring wilt in the heat of summer and the spent blooms of summer darken and go to seed.

Perhaps by visualizing those seeds, on the cold ground, buried under the bluewhite snow, I'll remember the hope that surely must come again.


So, yeh, you might say I still need the meds. Probably couldn't have chosen a more jam-packed, likely-to-include-high-stress time to stop the meds, including the OH.MY.HECK.gum surgery pain, the I've-not-enough-of-the-will-I-be-addicted-too?-lortab, the clean-the-house and cook-the-meal-or in this case,-assist-with-the-meal-prep holiday dealio, wait, did i mention the STINKING sore mouth pain, the family get it together stress, and even, the celebration of Stu's birth* that, for me, nowadays, also includes a twinge of reminder of his health issues. Yeh, probably not the best time to go solo, no more meds for me, girlie.

Jack took me to the doctor today so together we could give a more accurate picture of life in the gardens of late and, with the doc, agree on a new plan--not quite same as the old plan, but hopefully better. After the visit and a stop for lunch at Olive Garden, Jack dropped me off at the gardens so I could get in my jammies while he went to the pharmacy and picked up the new stuff (yet another indication of the urgency of this mess).

The remaining items on the list of stuff to do tonight are take a long, hot soak in the tub, share the two desserts we ordered at lunch but were too full to eat, toss back a diet coke, watch a bit of mindless tv and/or the Jazz, and settle down with the new meds and a good book on our comfy bed with its white, softer than anything cotton sheets.

For those of you who don't have new meds, desserts to share, diet cokes to chug, a good book, or a bed like ours, I'll share something that may be just as satisfying--and well, I'll enjoy it along with you--a pic of the beautiful baby girl, Miss Janey.

*HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR STU-EY, MY FIRSTBORN, MY FIRST AT MOST EVERYTHING, MY DARLING, AMAZING, EVERYTIME I TURNED AROUND NEW STAGE OF DEVELOPMENT BOY! I LOVE YOU WITH ALL OF MY HEART (AMAZING, HUH, WHEN I LOVE YOUR SIBLINGS AND JACK WITH ALL OF MY HEART ALSO!) AND, AS I WAS SAYING, I LOVE YOU WITH ALL OF MY HEART, ALL OF MYSELF, AND ALL OF MY LIVER, WHICH I WILL GLADLY SHARE IF YOU EVER NEED IT. XXOOXOXOXO