Monday, December 8, 2008

think before you do it

Today I got an email from Sugar that was one of those questionnaire things (Answer these questions and see what kind of [fill in the blank] you are!!) and since it was only four questions, I decided to waste a few minutes on it.

If I remember correctly--and we all know I don't, so don't hold me to this, Sugar--the email indicated it was from the Dali Lama (maybe?) and instructed me to choose my favorite number, make a wish, and remember it. Next, I was instructed, several times, that I should answer the four questions honestly, writing down the first thing that came to mind, and remember that it was critical that I not look ahead or cheat (cheat? while answering questions from the Dali Lama? Seriously).

After I answered the four questions, the meanings of my answers appeared, and of course, the meanings of my answers accurately defined me--or at least that's the way it seemed at first. I mean, who wouldn't choose a sheep as a favorite animal, followed closely by a horse, which, duh, clearly is interpreted as 'the most important things in life to me are love and family'. Obvious, right?

But then, I got to the part of the email that instructed me to send it to a certain number of friends so I could get my wish granted and if I did, my wish would come true, blah, blah, blah. WHAT? The Dali Lama is an email chain letter writer? Is nothing sacred? True, he didn't threaten me with dire consequences if I didn't forward the email to my friends, but well, I have a standing policy that doesn't allow me to participate in chain letters. even email chain letters. even from the Dali Lama. Period. (It's one of those things my mom taught me as a child about how those chain letters just clog up the mail system. I can't bring myself to rebel against her on this one.)

I have to admit that for a couple of minutes, I did contemplate who I might forward the email to. After all, I only had to send it to two friends and my wish would be granted on Saturday. And that is when I wished I had thought more carefully about my wish.

My wish was for Stuart to be better. I didn't wish for him to get better, or to be healthy, or to be healed. I just wished for better. What was I thinking? He was better today than yesterday, so in theory, my wish may have been granted and now I owe the Dali Lama a couple of links to his email chain. I bet you had no idea life was so complicated, did you?

After deciding that I had messed up my wish this time, and what I really wanted wasn't going to happen simply by forwarding an email to a couple of people, I started to think.

I wondered, just what would I be willing to do, what crazy or outrageous or simple thing would I be willing to do if I could have that one wish granted, that most deeply-held-in-my-heart-wish granted? And what wish would I want next? And would I be more careful the next time I was given the opportunity to make a wish?


Johanna said...

The hard part is that if that wish were granted, then you would move on to your other children...and it would never be done.

I heard once that a mother is only as happy as her saddest child. I think it's so true. Who knew that by receiving these children into our lives, we would also be receiving worry, sorrow, and pain.

But who knew that we would receive unending joy? Certainly not I. It still takes me by surprise.

Skybird said...

Long time since I flew by the gardens, but I got a chance tonight, and I have to amen your feelings about email chains! I don't know how many wonderful things come, and then have that plug at the end that if you don't forward... x will or won't happen.

That's the part that gets me everytime. I agree with you, your mother, and all the matriarchs before!!!

I also agree with Johanna! What an interesting consideration. A mother is only as happy as her saddest child...'

This is why I'm a dad. Dad's are only unhappy if someone has his chair or the remote.... :)